Becoming Unstuck

I don't know that I've been completely honest here about why I started getting in better shape.  Yes, there was the triathlon and the realization that I was aging prematurely and that I didn't have enough energy to be engaged with my daughter but there was something else.

My engagement ring was stuck.  Really stuck.  Like, wouldn't budge regardless of what I did.

It happened one night just about 2 years ago.  I hadn't put my ring on for about 18 months.  It had become hard to take off and I didn't want to risk it getting stuck.  But, I was feeling nostalgic so I dug it out and slid it on, easily.  A few minutes went by and I realized that it was a bit tight so I tried to take it off.  I twisted, I massaged, I put my hand in cold water, I used windex, olive oil, soap.  Nothing worked.

The next day I was on call in the hospital and showed my hand to my coworkers.  They tried.  We did the wrapping floss around my finger thing - it just made my finger purple and hurt.  We tried again the next morning.  Still no luck.

My husband and I visited a jeweler who took one look at my finger and said it would have to be cut off - that it could damage the setting and obviously mangle the inscription on the inside.  I left the store humiliated.  How could I have let this happen?  Why did I not stop gaining weight?  Why did I have to put that ring on??

I knew that if I lost just 11 pounds that it would come off so I vowed to lose the weight first.  I mean, how long could it take?  A month?

But I was working crazy hours in the hospital and I wasn't really exercising and I kinda (not really) changed my diet. I went on Weight Watchers.

It didn't work - I gained 5 pounds instead.

And then I signed up for the triathlon. And then I met my trainer.  I slowly changed my diet.  I incorporated exercise into my daily routine and slowly the ring got looser.

Throughout these past two years I had a recurring dream that my ring miraculously dislodged from my finger.  But each morning I would awake to find it right where I left it.  Stuck.

Last August I knew I was getting close but the heat made my fingers swell and I nearly went in to have it cut off.  It hurt and the skin was raw but cutting it off seemed like giving up.

So I kept doing my thing.  Eating well, decreasing the sodium in my diet and exercising.  It will happen I told myself.  I'm so close.

And then, last week I had a dream that I took it off, easily.  I just pulled and that was it.  The dream was so vivid and real.  I thought "I'm getting close.  It's going to happen."

The following evening, my brain flashed back to the dream.  I felt my right fingers reach for the ring, gently twist and off it came.  The words that come to mind are shock, relief and joy.  I did it.

I was unstuck.

For the past 3 months the number on the scale hasn't moved.  Of course there were funerals and birthdays, holidays and snow days.  I didn't gain weight, I just didn't lose.  I was stuck.  But giving up wasn't an option.  I've come so far, I'm getting closer.

And then, yesterday, the number was lower.  The lowest it's been in 3 years.

It was unstuck.

It's amazing what a dream or vision can do.  It gives us a goal to work towards.  We are able to visualize what we want.  But in order to get there we need tools.   And it's not a miracle when it happens - it's the result of hard work.  Of sweat, tears and pain.  But oh the joy and relief when it happens.

Liberation.

What's your vision?

Be well.