Balancing Balancing

My recent focus has been on finding balance in my life.  Which got me thinking about what an absurd concept that is.  Ok, maybe that's a bit harsh - but it does seem that we are putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to maintain "balance" in our lives and so I'm beginning to wonder if all that work to find balance is somehow throwing us off kilter.

Here are a few examples of the kinds of things we are supposed to balance:

work vs. family
saving vs. spending
anxiety vs. peace
not sleeping enough vs. sleeping too much
carbs vs. protein
exercising too little vs. exercising too much
print vs. digital

My point is that this nirvana of "balance" is actually never really attainable.  As soon as you seem to have something in balance, something else comes along to knock you out of alignment.  Maybe a personal illness, a job loss, stress at home or a really tasty chocolate cake.

But don't fret.  I'm not suggesting that you throw in the towel but rather that you make peace with the tension. One month your exercise every single day but then get sick and can't exercise for a week but eventually you will be well and exercise again. Perhaps you ate too much chocolate (guess who) but eventually (if you have the right support network and other tools) you will go back to your healthy eating and find the balance in your nutritional intake.

Life is in a constant state of flux.  Rather than obsess over finding balance, find peace in the process of finding balance.  Because although true "balance" may not be achievable the pursuit of it is.

Be well.

Where to start

I haven't written for a while.  Lots of reasons.  School starting, presidential election, stomach viruses, colds, a hurricane then a snowstorm.  But mostly because I haven't felt very inspired.

Or rather, I haven't felt inspiring.

Who wants to read a post from a personal fitness trainer who is not taking very good care of herself?  Who is struggling to stay motivated?  Who has rediscovered her love for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?

However, by not writing, I'm not being honest.  This isn't an easy journey.  Hey, after all, this is life - we hit stumbling blocks, we fall but most importantly we get up, brush the dirt off our knees and keep going. 

So, I am going back to basics.

Don't get me wrong.  I still exercise 5 or 6 days a week.  I stretch daily.  A bit of cardio, a smattering of weight training.  Then there's PT for my knee twice a week and a few core strengthening exercises.

And still read when I can, knit a stitch or two and enjoy the whirring of my Swiss-made sewing machine.

But my dietary intake has been less than stellar.  Pretty bad actually.  When I don't feel well, I reach for quick fixes: Bread, pizza and sugar.  And chocolate. 

The scale went up a pound (or two) so the world isn't coming to an end but I need to be honest with myself and give myself permisson to feel better.  To make better choices.  To be kind to myself.

Because if I don't take care of myself, who will?  My friends can support me and say kind words.  My spouse can hug me and tell me I'm doing just fine.  But I am responsible for me. 

This is a wonderful time of year to reflect.  To be thankful.  To be grateful.  To celebrate.

So, I am thankful for the changes I have made in my life that allow me to make good choices.  That allow me to move my body.  That allow me to help others achieve physical well-being.

And I deserve to feel good about myself and how my body feels.

Time to be mindful of the fuel I put into my body so that I can live my best life and be my best self.

Time to feel inspired. 

Be well.

You Don't Have Time to Not Exercise

There are so many excuses for not exercising and eating well.  So many in fact that to list them here would take up considerable amount of space and would honestly be a waste of time to write and to read.  But the biggest excuse by far is "time."

I hear the following almost daily:

"I don't have time to exercise."
"I don't have time to strength train and cardio."
"I don't have time to stretch."
"I don't have time to go to the grocery store."
"I don't have time to cook."
"I don't have time to journal my food intake."

And, to be honest, I have said many of those things myself.

But let's look at it another way.  Not exercising and making poor food choices also takes a lot of time.  How so?  Well, being healthy contributes to the risk of developing a chronic illness and chronic illnesses take a lot of time to manage.  Here's how:

Visits to the doctor
Visits to the pharmacy
Visits to rehab facilities
Visits to the ER/Hospital

And let's not the forget the time it takes to self-monitor a chronic, preventable illness.  For example, Type II diabetes requires frequent blood sugar checks and then calculations of needed medication.

There are so many illnesses that are not preventable.  Genetics place a large role in if we get sick; however our lifestyle choices also play a part in this.  So why not take charge of the aspects you have some control over?

You don't have time to be sick.  Give yourself permission to take the time to be well.  It is time better spent.

Be well.

The 20 Minute Workout

So far this summer my personal training sessions have drastically declined primarily due to two factors: travel and my clients'  lack of time.  For most people, summer signals a change in routine.  Kids are out of school, vacations are planned and the heat, especially this summer, keeps people at home.

When my clients do come to the gym they admit that they haven't been as disciplined about their exercise routine.  Instead of making them feel guilty about this because honestly, that doesn't help the situation, I try to offer suggestions.   And recently I've suggested that they do just 20-30 minutes a few times a week to maintain their strength and cardio.  And I suggest that they not be too hard on themselves.  Sometimes even personal trainers have a hard time fitting in exercise.

I've been reading a great book by Gretchen Reynolds titled "The First 20 Minutes: Surprising Science Reveals How We Can Exercise Better, Train Smarter, Live Longer".  Truly fabulous.  Ms. Reynolds writes the NY Times Phys Ed column, which if you are not reading, I recommend that you do!  In her book she summarizes the current literature regarding fitness and wellness then offers basics suggestions based on this science.  It's a fast read and well worth the time.

So, in keeping with the 20 minute theme, I offer you a self-tested 20 minute workout.  I did this pretty much without stopping and was quite sweaty by the end.  If you have more than 20 minutes to exercise, feel free to add to it - maybe some ballistic movements (jumping jacks) and stretching.

Equipment: Floor, couch or ottoman, stair steps.

1 minute stair steps (up, up, down, down on one step)
30 seconds side step-ups each leg (1 minute total)
Repeat for a total of 3 sets

30 seconds mountain climbers (hands on step or floor)
30 seconds push-ups (hands on step or floor)
Repeat for a total of 3 sets

10 -15 lunges each leg
15 tricep dips on edge of couch
Repeat for a total of 3 sets

30 side bends
30 twist and overhead reach
Repeat for a total of 3 sets (you can add weights to this if you like)

20 dead bugs (10 each side)
15 bridge press
Repeat for 2 -3 sets

20 superman, alternating sides - lift left leg and right arm then repeat with opposite arm and leg.
Repeat once

plank - hold it for as long as you can
repeat.

That's it.  See, now that wasn't too bad was it?

Want more?  Click over to these workouts from earlier posts: 30 minutes here and about 25 minutes here.

Be well.

Staying Motivated to Stay Motivated

Sigh.

Before my knee surgery in February I had started slacking off on carefully monitoring my nutritional intake.   My knee was causing me increased discomfort which in turn led me to feel a bit down.  Basically, I realized that I, that is, my body was aging.

I turned 40 last year and felt pretty good about the whole thing.  No complaints.  But soon thereafter followed holidays, some difficult personal stuff and then to add insult to injury, my knee.  I told friends that my knee pain was my body's 40th birthday gift to me.

Eventually I started to internalize a sense of failure and frustration.  Not good for a personal trainer whose job it is to motivate others and set a golden example of fitness and wellness.

But there is comfort in the fact that I have created safety nets for myself.  My job, my work environment, my friends, my blog and my dietary/fitness changes.

Last year I felt that I was stuck - that I needed to get that ring off to feel that I was progressing.  There's no physical ring now but I do feel that something is binding me and keeping me from achieving my goal.  Is it fear?  Is it old habits?  Or is it something as simple as my undying love for chocolate?

The reality is that it is probably not just one thing but a whole mixture of stuff including stuff I don't even have control over such as genetics, social constructs of body image, personal history and the fact that the body is not programmed to be restrictive.  It is programmed to eat for survival.

But I'm not a cave woman.  And I'm not a weight-obsessed super-model.  I'm just me, wanting to live a healthy life not just for myself but for my daughter, my husband and my family.

Grr.  Can you feel my frustration?

The thing is, food and my weight served a purpose for me at some point in my life.  And I have not always "struggled" with my weight. As a teen, food helped with cope with stressful stuff.  In my 20's eating was social and fun - a distraction from studying and figuring out one's life purpose.  In my 30's I set up house and managed the stress of infertility, my spouse's health and my father's chronic illness.  But now, in my 40's things are settled.  I have Lucy, my husband is healthy and my father is no longer an immediate drain on my emotional resources.

But these patterns have existed for a long time.  It will take time to undo and change.  It's not easy but the rewards are worth it.

I feel better already.

So today I started logging my food...again.  It's a step in the right direction.

Because really, this is a life-long process and like any project, there are stumbling blocks.  But through the challenges comes deeper understanding and hopefully greater satisfaction in my accomplishments.

Be well.

On The Road

Yesterday I woke up, put on my bicycle shorts, grabbed my bicycle shoes, sprayed myself with sunscreen, went down stairs and announced that I was going to ride my bike today. 

"OK," my husband replied, "you should get out there before it gets too hot."

"I'm going to drink my coffee and go."

Well, at least an hour later I had still not gotten on the bike.  The tires needed air.  I had to fill up a water bottle.  My socks got wet so I needed new ones.  My heart rate monitor was missing.  I forgot to take my allergy medicine. 

But eventually I walked the bike down the driveway, velcroed my bikes shoes and straddled the bike.

Then I panicked.

What if I couldn't remember how to ride the bike?  What if I couldn't remember how to clip out?  What if I fell over.  What if the tube blew or the chain came off?

But then I looked at my daughter, my nephew, my brother and husband who were waiting for me to get started.  I clipped one shoe in, peddled a few feet and clipped the other shoe in and then I was off.  I quickly remembered how to shift, brake and clip out.  After a few times around the court I was ready to hit the road and go for a ride.

There seemed to be wind regardless of which direction I was headed but I was still able to move steadily forward.  Truthfully I think I'm stronger now than the last time I took my bike out.  My back didn't my hurt, my legs didn't tire and my heart didn't give out.

I rode a total of 56 minutes and loved every second of it.

I exercise to live, not live to exercise.  But in that hour the two came together perfectly.  I was living and exercising all at once.  And it was awesome.

This journey has had many bumps and obstacles but I feel like the road is about to open wide.  I'm strong enough that I can be physically active and actually enjoy it.  And maybe that's what it's really all about.

Be well.

Tiny Habits Add Up to Big Changes

Last week I visited a friend.  When I was leaving I noticed that she had a sticky note on her door that said "breathe."

"You have to remind yourself to breathe?"

She smiled, "It's part of a program I'm doing called 3 Tiny Habits.  I need to remember to breathe throughout the day so I tied the action to something else I do all the time such as opening the door."

I responded, "you are getting kinda groovy" and then went home and looked up the website of BJ Fogg.

Basically the concept is not about changing habits as much as it is about adding new habits.  This concept really resonates with me.  So often in fitness we focus on changing habits or getting rid of bad behaviors.  Instead I encourage my clients to focus on adding new habits such as eating more fruits and veggies, stretching daily and walking on a regular basis.

But the concept of tying these new habits to something you already do was a different way of approaching it.  And by keeping the habits tiny, you are less likely to be overwhelmed by making big changes.  Then after the tiny habit becomes habitual, you can add to it and so on.

So, I've been doing it.  My 3 tiny habits:

After I brush my teeth, I will put away the toothpaste.
After I drink my morning coffee, I will drink a glass of water.
After I use a tissue, I will put it in the trash.

So far I've done pretty well.  I'm mindful throughout the day of my tiny habits.  And once I master them, I plan to build up to putting away more toiletries (my vanity can get kinda cluttered in the morning), drinking more water and clearing out bits of trash.

Give it a try.  Keep it tiny.

Be well.

Everyone Has A Story to Share

For years, after I decided to become a midwife, women have shared with me their birth stories.  The moment I said that either I was studying to become a midwife or that I was practicing as a midwife, the stories came pouring out.  My mother's story of giving birth to me and my brother.  Her mother's story of giving birth to her children.  My grandmother's stories of her mother's births.  My paternal grandmother shared the stories of not only births but losses.  Other women did the same.  Their mother's stories, their stories, their daughter's stories.  Strangers, friends, co-workers.  Everyone wants to talk about this formative human experience.

And I listen.  I smile.  I nod.  I gasp.  I've learned not to say much.  Most women don't want an opinion or feedback.  They just want to let their stories out to breathe and are grateful to find a receptive ear.

Some stories are lovely, some horrible.  Some are heroic, some are hilarious.  Most end with the birth of the most amazing person they have ever met.  A few end in loss and tragedy - a life gone unlived.

But with each ending comes a new chapter and new life stories to be told.

Little did I know that when I became a personal trainer I was taking on the job of hearing new stories. But these are not about births.  Women want to talk about their diets, their friends' diets and their mothers' diets.

I hear about no-carbs, low-carbs, juice fasts, vegetarian, vegan, paleo, points.  I hear about what worked and what didn't work.

I don't mind.  It's part of my job and so I listen.  I nod.  I smile.  I gasp.  But instead of being silent, I offer guidance.

My guidance is simple.  No need for a 400 page book.  No need for complex recipes and food combinations.

Do what works for you.  And if what you are doing, isn't working, change it.  And when you find what works, plan to do it for the rest of your life.

There are lots of books out there about this diet or that diet.  It's a multi-billion dollar industry.  Are carbs bad? Maybe for some but not for others.  Meat? Same thing.  Fat? You guessed it, same thing.  Sugar? Well, best to avoid a bunch of the refined stuff but I'm not going to keep you away from a cupcake at your child's birthday.

It always makes me a bit sad when I'm out somewhere and I hear women talking about dieting.  I think, isn't there something else they could be discussing?  Something that would enrich each other's lives - perhaps a bit of worldly wisdom.  An inspiring book or article?  A beautifully filmed movie?

Or maybe, they could share a few life stories.

Be well.

This week's workout

This has been a pretty mild winter but I'm still ready for it to be over mainly because the days are too short.  I want to be outside, running, jumping and playing.  In the meantime, here's a workout to beat the Winter Blues.

Repeat each grouping of exercises 2 - 3 times

Warm up 5 minutes

10 squats

10 stepping forward lunge each leg

10 side lunges each leg.

Sit against wall 30 seconds

10 pushups

10 plank row with dumbbells

10 woodchops with dumbbells- each side

Sit against wall 30 seconds

With dumbbells either standing or sitting on exercise ball:

10 overhead press

10 reverse fly 

10 upright row

sit against wall 30 seconds

10 bridge press

10 dead bugs each side

10 quadrupeds each side

Stretch 5 minutes

Be well.

Personal Pep Talk

The other morning after seeing a disapointing number on the scale I found myself frustrated. Over the holidays I gained somewhere between 2 and 3 pounds.  Now that the holidays were over, I wanted the weight gone.

But these few pounds were stubbornly sticking around, overstaying their welcome. Exasperation was setting in and I was beginning to feel hopeless.

And then.  A moment of clarity.  I thought,  "What would I tell myself if I were my personal trainer?"

You have changed your life.
You exercise 5-6 times per week.
You are strong.
You eat more whole foods in one day than you used to eat in one week.
You are happy in your career choice.
You sleep peacefully every night.
You have lost more weight than you ever thought possible 3 years ago.
The scale is just a number, it is not the whole story.
Refocus.  Go back to the basics.
Reread the books that inspired you.
Do the exercises that you love.
Feel good about your achievements.
The weight will come off.  I promise.

And so, I got dressed.  I made my oatmeal, I packed my lunch. I had fun with my exercises.  I laughed.

And you guessed it.  The scale is moving down.

It may be another year before I reach my weight goal.  But I have already achieved so much more.  The weight is only one small part of this journey - I shouldn't let it weigh me down.  Pun very much intended.

Are you in need of a pep talk?

Be well.